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How Is Your Team Preparing For The Coming Wembanyapocalypse?



Now that there’s a 7’4″ player who can:

1. [Jump straight up and posterize people from outside the restricted area](https://streamable.com/15632v)

2. [Nail crossover stepback middies like a 2 guard](https://streamable.com/ci8zkc)

3. [Gathers like Giannis](https://streamable.com/bhg5qy)

4. [Calls for alley-oops at the 3pt line](https://streamable.com/h0t32o)

5. [Guards 2 players at once](https://streamable.com/n8xpfu)

6. [Kontests like Luke Kornet](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/177eg4p)

7. [Strips like he’s getting paid by James Harden](https://old.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/17481uz/highlight_victor_wembanyama_with_a_terrifying/)

8. [Hits fadeaway corner 3’s like he’s Ray Allen ](https://old.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/xxfd7r/highlight_victor_wembanyama_drains_a_fadeaway/)

9. [Blocks 3’s like he’s Timelord](https://old.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/14tqbyq/highlight_victor_wembanyama_blocks_brandon/)

10. [Drains hashmark 3’s like Steph Curry](https://old.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/xxg23n/highlight_victor_wembanyama_drains_one_from_the/)

11. [Bodies 7 footers ](https://old.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/1748993/highlight_victor_wembanyama_drives_through_chet/)

12. [Middy fades like Kobe](https://old.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/xxg7c4/highlight_victor_wembanyama_hits_the_turnaround_j/)

How is your team preparing for the coming Wembanyapocalypse?

by SquimJim

48 Comments

  1. yolkadot

    Scalabrine will mispronounce his name on tv

  2. MAMBAMENTALITY8-24

    But is wemby ready for the chet god

  3. We’ll be trash by the time the spurs are good

  4. CrazyPersonXV

    Jokic is going to bully him down low

  5. HisHilariousness

    Well done on the Harden strippers line!

  6. Dat_Boi_John

    We already brought in one Morris brother, we good. All he needs to do is “accidentally” step on his ankle just like one of them did in the Clippers series against Luka. Seriously though, hopefully Wemby stays healthy and the Spurs don’t overwork his body until he is ready.

  7. FKJVMMP

    Pretty confident even a slow Giannis-on-the-drive elbow will break a rib. If not, we’ll suck by the time he’s dropping Kanyes in the Finals anyway.

  8. CapsFan4Ever

    Bilal will recruit him to DC by the time they hit their prime so we’ll be okay.

  9. Federal-Inspector-11

    Strips like he is paid by Harden 😂 my man you rule

  10. MikeyBastard1

    Don’t forget the newly set forth Wembargo on shots in the paint!

  11. DesperateComb7326

    I’m excited to see how he and Joker fair off.

  12. DaggerDev5

    We will stack our 7 footers on top of each other

  13. Nuclearsunburn

    Hiding in the East and praying a West team takes them out before the Finals? Lol

  14. Swag_Turtle

    Idk we waived our wemby killer (Kai Jones)

  15. enataca

    How will I ever prepare for the Spurs to be great? Oh right I’ve been training for this since I was 6. It’s been nice to have a few years off.

  16. JeremiahPhantom

    Passively aggressive post game tweets and TikToks – Thunder Up

  17. Emergency-Top-4505

    We are focused on getting out of the first round, I’m just hoping Mobley can still snag a few DPOYs before the award is renamed after Wemby

  18. SeanRodrieguez

    Pat Bev is licking his lips at those long, skinny knees of his.

  19. North-Maximum-6958

    you think i care about Wemby when we have Dwight Powell? you fool

  20. tragedy_of_97

    My plan would be have a short player just stand in front of him and he won’t see them, so he gets charges called frequently

  21. Dddddddfried

    We’re preparing hundreds of baseless headlines speculating that he wants to sign with the knicks when he hits free agency

  22. OsuLost31to0

    Praying that he went to a team not in my conference. It worked!

  23. Half_baked_prince

    Well I’ve heard porzingis grew a couple inches in the offseason so Boston will be fine

  24. Laszlo-Panaflex

    My team got the original Unicorn, Porzingis. Not worried.

  25. tulaero23

    You mean Victor “MF DOOM” Wembanyama?

  26. KilwaLover

    we started Kevin Porter Jr to get this guy and we didn’t even get him

  27. Talcove

    Be happy that “Wembanronto” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

  28. NArcadia11

    We’ve brought in Simone Biles as a “flexibility advisor” to put Draymond on an extensive groin and hip flexor regiment that uses movements found in gymnastic floor routines to allow him get his foot high enough to kick that French kid squarely in the nutsack. A master of his craft never stops honing it.

  29. SandyMandy17

    Get your baguette ass outta here we got a 7’1 trailer park Abe Lincoln

  30. trianglesaurus

    We’re probably going to go even smaller than today

  31. pineapplesmile99

    Kenny Lofton Jr aka Snack Randolph aka GenZBo

  32. TheBaconD

    Is Bol Bol time

    Edit: it was Bol Bol time

  33. The_Dok33

    My team traded away a player that was too small to guard Wemby, and got a 7’3″ Latvian.

  34. esm9197

    By having the ultimate rim defender, big man career ender- Trae Young

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