From the article:
“It’s time for our 12th annual NBA League Pass Rankings — a tradition that started at a now-defunct website mostly because my old boss enjoyed making fun of the early-2010s Washington Wizards.
These are NOT power rankings! They are watchability ratings derived from a secret algorithm Bill Simmons found scrawled on beer-soaked parchment paper under his seat at the old Boston Garden.
We score teams 1-10 in five categories:
Zeitgeist: Do normal people care about this team?
Highlight potential: Should you linger in case some passing savant or outrageous leaper uncorks something you might never see again?
Strategy/style: Are they fun to watch? This is where coaching factors in.
League Pass minutia: Announcers, uniforms, courts.
Unintentional comedy: Blame Simmons.
27. Portland Trail Blazers (23)
The difference between the Wizards and Blazers is that Portland might have its foundational lottery pick in the snarling locomotive, Scoot Henderson. The trio of Henderson, Shaedon Sharpe and Anfernee Simons will get every chance to show they can play together.
With those three, Portland’s offense will be a show. Henderson should have Portland flying. Sharpe could probably dunk in-game on a 12-foot rim. With ball handlers around him, Sharpe can focus on the edges: cutting, defense, open 3s, keeping the machine moving on catch-and-go drives.
Simons is a buttery scorer with textbook shooting form and a gorgeous arching floater he can launch from almost any angle.
That trio will bleed points on defense. They’re young. The hope is to maybe glimpse a road map for how they might survive together — even if Simons is ultimately a sixth man, or trade bait. Henderson is stout enough for Chauncey Billups to play with matchups (Simons is 24. If he’s to become passable on defense, the time is now.)
Deandre Ayton wants to show the Phoenix Suns they blew it, but his zeal to do more could create a minor tug-of-war with Portland’s guards for control of the offense. Robert Williams III will push Ayton for minutes. Will Billups try them together?
Matisse Thybulle began taking and making 3s in Portland — he and Josh Hart must have traversed some magical shooting portal during their cross-country flights at last season’s trade deadline — and even minimal Thybulle offense means more of Thybulle’s uncanny defense. He seems to apparate from place to place, unnerving offensive players who had thought they were open.
Portland has the league’s best art. Its big swings hit because they flow from the Blazers’ core iconography: red, black and the pinwheel — the best logo in sports. Take this daring new court:
(Picture from top goes here)
This is a heat check from Portland’s art department, and it swished it from Damian Lillard range. (Too soon?) The Blazers had already split the boundaries between red and black, but they’ve reformatted here — red in the upper left and bottom right, black everywhere else — to mirror the diagonal striping of the center-court pinwheel. The slanted red lines in the black paint — unlike anything in the league — have the same effect.
The Blazers will be bad, and the back half of the roster is anonymous.”
So what does everyone think? Discuss
Link to article:
https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/38661109/lowe-2023-24-nba-league-pass-rankings-teams-30-11-watchability-fun
by Losalou52
9 Comments
Sure I’m biased, but that’s way low. C’mon!
Okay, with this top-down view of the court, I see how to correct the one thing that bothers me. Expand the bottom right red corner triangle to be the same size as the top left triangle, which fixes the issue that bugs me: the red lines going into the right side key originate from a black baseline section.
Smallest gripe…..but I don’t like this year’s court. It doesn’t matter one iota, but it is not for me.
I did enjoy Lowe referring to Sc00t as a “*snarling locomotive*”. Awesome.
Edit: *I assumed it was Simmons. Glad I was wrong.*
Team watchability will be bad for sure. But player watchability? There are multiple highlight reel guys on this team which makes this #27 take pretty low. Sure we won’t win many games but the highlights will make us look a lot better than we are.
I mean, how are we below the Hornets? What do the Rockets have that we don’t? We have 5 top 100 players, one of the best young cores in the game, and an good offense questionable defense setup that should be great for neutrals (and miserable for homers). If you look at the advanced stats we have a .9 per game Sharpe Dunk on r/nba and Scoot will make his own highlights (while Simons just puts 8 threes in and nobody notices). I don’t know about NBA pass but Calabro is a top tier commentator if that makes it on there.
This should be the most entertaining bad team not named the Spurs.
As a Blazers fan, this will be the most exciting team to watch in a few years. Without Dame, I can see why a casual basketball wouldn’t go out of their way to tune in to see them though.
We should be in last places because nobody can watch Root.
Fortunately I don’t give a fuck what ESPN thinks