In his summers, he tried masking his depression by abusing alcohol, and using women. He would often drink a bottle of wine before embarking on a night of tequila and clubbing, where he would “try to find love in the wrong places.” When he was in season, he became what he called “an energy vampire” — moody and self-absorbed — as he coped with his injuries, first a shoulder injury in Miami, followed by back and hip injuries in Memphis. Through it all, he had become distant and closed to his family. At one point, as he was recovering from shoulder surgery in his second NBA season, his mental state had become so concerning that Winslow’s brother Josh remembers receiving a call from Miami coach Erik Spoelstra.
“Spo was the first person who reached out to me,” Josh said. “He was like, ‘I FaceTimed Justise today and it looked like he hadn’t shaved for weeks, or left his room.’ And everybody on the team was like, ‘That’s not the guy we drafted.’ It got dark for him, for sure.”
It was a spiral that nearly engulfed Winslow. He brawled with his brother on a Bahamas beach. He cried to his mother on her birthday. He clashed with Spoelstra, and was eventually traded, even though the coach went out of his way to understand and embrace him.
He was the highest pick by the Heat since it selected Michael Beasley No. 2 in 2008, and 12 years after it took Dwyane Wade fifth in 2003. Winslow said the city and organization showered him with love and attention, which was good for his ego, but bad for his perspective.
“Getting drafted that high, and being this lottery pick, there was a lot of … I don’t want to say me being a savior or anything compared to LeBron or Zion and what they went through … but it was kind of like, ‘This is the guy D Wade was going to pass the torch to in Miami,” Winslow said. “So that was the expectation, and I was cool with it. My family, we enjoyed that attention that came with it, because there was a lot of positivity that came with it — appearances, endorsements, events in Miami — and just kind of shadowing D Wade.”
—-
By the summer of 2019, a gulf had formed between Winslow and Spoelstra, and both knew it.
“Oh yeah. We f— clashed. We bumped heads for sure,” Winslow said.
As Winslow struggled with the mental side of being injured, Spoelstra could see him straying from the team. He wasn’t pulling for his teammates, and although he was at practices and team meetings, he wasn’t present.
Spoelstra valued Winslow’s varied skillset — he started him at center in a playoff game his rookie season, and in his second season, started him at point guard.
“Justise’s skillset is so diverse, and versatile and unique that it doesn’t fit the conventional boxes of what everyone thinks a player should be,” Spoelstra said. “But he is a winner.”
Spoelstra was also drawn to Winslow the person.
“Justise is really intuitive, highly intelligent, and I find him super interesting,” Spoelstra said. “He has a curious mind. When we weren’t on the same page what we were drawn to each other about was competitiveness, how we view competition. We are very similar.”
Still, they weren’t connecting. Winslow might have been listening to his coach talk about being selfless and giving, but the words weren’t resonating.
So it was with some trepidation that Winslow accepted an unusual offer from Spoelstra that summer: Join him at the L.A. home of professional surfer Laird Hamilton.
It was a last-gasp attempt by the coach to reach his player.
“We weren’t on the same page about a lot of stuff,” Spoelstra said. “But I really had his best interests at heart, and I wanted to impact him in an unconventional way.”
Hamilton had them dive into a pool while holding dumbbells. Among other things, it was an exercise designed to control your emotions, to not panic, and draw strength and confidence off the person in front of them.
“Justise was phenomenal with it, just locked in,” Spoelstra said. “I freaked out. Hated it. As soon as I got to the bottom, I was like, ‘What am I doing?’ I dropped the weights, panicked and went up.”
Hamilton also had them do a series of breathing exercises, as well as going from a sauna to a cold pool. A day they’ll never forget.
“That day changed my life forever, honestly,” Winslow said. “I just felt amazing. High on life. Happy. It was one of the best moments of my life.”
It sparked an important change. Winslow had always been in good shape, but from that day, he committed to a higher level of fitness. The high he chased with drinking and clubbing was replaced by chasing what he felt that day at Hamilton’s.
“I found a higher frequency, and I wanted to live in that frequency,” Winslow said. “It was a frequency where the stress was gone, the anxiety was gone. I wanted to maintain that, I wanted to find that happiness, that gratitude, that acceptance and presentness. I wanted to find that every day.”
—-
“I check his boxscores all the time,” Spoelstra said. “Because he is one of the guys I continue to root for. Every player’s journey is different, and it’s never linear.
rapelbaum
SPO is the best!
magicbeaned
Thank you so much for posting this!
Ta_Ru
Will always be rooting for Justise!
CallMeFierce
The Heat are so lucky to have Spo.
Ionlyeatmustard
Confirmation that bustise was a bad teammate. Wish him the best mental health wise as that is no joke but glad he is no longer anywhere near this team
Agora236
Crazy that he’s still only 26. Too bad it didn’t work out here but glad he’s doing better now.
Rebound-Bosh
Thanks for posting this! Great article
While I’m said Point Justise didn’t pan out, I’ve been where he is and get it. I’m happy he’s found his place and his peace in Portland
But my main takeaway– man, Spo really is a real one. We’re blessed
OttoRocket94
As someone who deals with anxiety/depression I totally feel for him. That shit takes over your life and turns you into a different person. I wish the best for him in the future!
SenorButtmunch
It must be tough as fuck to go through the emotions of your 20s while having to be a professional, high performing athlete and a multi million dollar investment to an organisation. Obviously it’s a nice paycheck but the human shit like depression doesn’t give a fuck about your bank balance, it treats everyone the same.
I can relate to a lot of the stuff Winslow is talking about, I’m grateful I didn’t have the added pressure of a job with a global audience holding me to incredibly high expectations while I was struggling. Everyone makes mistakes and has to grow and mature. Hopefully Winslow does well. I still think he was insanely overrated by fans and that he isn’t anything special as a player but I wish him the best.
TheBoook
Spo is legit a wonderful human and an exceptional role model for our players and our organization. We are blessed to have him
Prudent_Move_3420
Point Justise on his day was such a fun player to watch, such a shame he had those mental issues. Wish him all the best
EctoRiddler
Was a great article. I’m happy Justice is in a good place now. Shines some light as well on why he lashed out so much following the trade. He wasn’t in a good place.
Harru-Da-Wiza
Miami life ate the boy up
carnageta
No wonder rook2 outplayed rook1
Dek-234
Spo is the Goat
crackercider
I remember posting about Justise a little bit before he got traded. My boss is close friends with a member of Heat coaching staff (at the time), and he said when Justise was constantly benched about his back pain and spasms was because his agent was working on a deal with another team. He also said Whiteside was the laziest athlete he’s ever coached in decades in the league.
julstar23
And this is exactly why I always rooted for him despite the majority of the fanbase turning on him .The expectations were wayy to high and was worse when wade left and then being constantly compared to player on another team by heat fans and being called a bust while being in a dark place because of constant injuries is a recipie for disaster.Never kick a man while he’s down .If John wall and Kevin love etc can tell you how injuries put them in a very dark place and they are in the league for a while it had to be worse for a player like that .
LisbonExile
Such a great read. Really as if Spo wasn’t already a legend.. Stories like this just cement it. An absolute hero.
bluedrat
I always rooted for Winslow. I know he wasn’t doing well before he was traded, but wow I had no idea how deep his issues got. You really don’t know what someone is thinking or feeling sometimes. Glad he is in a better place.
silverfoxgoldenhux
Spo is just amazing.
BocaOG
Great article thanks.
mr_uuynn
This makes me feel warm. #Spoknows
#Justisebetter. I hope we bring him back home. He could play next to Bam.
23 Comments
The Heat-related highlights:
In his summers, he tried masking his depression by abusing alcohol, and using women. He would often drink a bottle of wine before embarking on a night of tequila and clubbing, where he would “try to find love in the wrong places.” When he was in season, he became what he called “an energy vampire” — moody and self-absorbed — as he coped with his injuries, first a shoulder injury in Miami, followed by back and hip injuries in Memphis. Through it all, he had become distant and closed to his family. At one point, as he was recovering from shoulder surgery in his second NBA season, his mental state had become so concerning that Winslow’s brother Josh remembers receiving a call from Miami coach Erik Spoelstra.
“Spo was the first person who reached out to me,” Josh said. “He was like, ‘I FaceTimed Justise today and it looked like he hadn’t shaved for weeks, or left his room.’ And everybody on the team was like, ‘That’s not the guy we drafted.’ It got dark for him, for sure.”
It was a spiral that nearly engulfed Winslow. He brawled with his brother on a Bahamas beach. He cried to his mother on her birthday. He clashed with Spoelstra, and was eventually traded, even though the coach went out of his way to understand and embrace him.
He was the highest pick by the Heat since it selected Michael Beasley No. 2 in 2008, and 12 years after it took Dwyane Wade fifth in 2003. Winslow said the city and organization showered him with love and attention, which was good for his ego, but bad for his perspective.
“Getting drafted that high, and being this lottery pick, there was a lot of … I don’t want to say me being a savior or anything compared to LeBron or Zion and what they went through … but it was kind of like, ‘This is the guy D Wade was going to pass the torch to in Miami,” Winslow said. “So that was the expectation, and I was cool with it. My family, we enjoyed that attention that came with it, because there was a lot of positivity that came with it — appearances, endorsements, events in Miami — and just kind of shadowing D Wade.”
—-
By the summer of 2019, a gulf had formed between Winslow and Spoelstra, and both knew it.
“Oh yeah. We f— clashed. We bumped heads for sure,” Winslow said.
As Winslow struggled with the mental side of being injured, Spoelstra could see him straying from the team. He wasn’t pulling for his teammates, and although he was at practices and team meetings, he wasn’t present.
Spoelstra valued Winslow’s varied skillset — he started him at center in a playoff game his rookie season, and in his second season, started him at point guard.
“Justise’s skillset is so diverse, and versatile and unique that it doesn’t fit the conventional boxes of what everyone thinks a player should be,” Spoelstra said. “But he is a winner.”
Spoelstra was also drawn to Winslow the person.
“Justise is really intuitive, highly intelligent, and I find him super interesting,” Spoelstra said. “He has a curious mind. When we weren’t on the same page what we were drawn to each other about was competitiveness, how we view competition. We are very similar.”
Still, they weren’t connecting. Winslow might have been listening to his coach talk about being selfless and giving, but the words weren’t resonating.
So it was with some trepidation that Winslow accepted an unusual offer from Spoelstra that summer: Join him at the L.A. home of professional surfer Laird Hamilton.
It was a last-gasp attempt by the coach to reach his player.
“We weren’t on the same page about a lot of stuff,” Spoelstra said. “But I really had his best interests at heart, and I wanted to impact him in an unconventional way.”
Hamilton had them dive into a pool while holding dumbbells. Among other things, it was an exercise designed to control your emotions, to not panic, and draw strength and confidence off the person in front of them.
“Justise was phenomenal with it, just locked in,” Spoelstra said. “I freaked out. Hated it. As soon as I got to the bottom, I was like, ‘What am I doing?’ I dropped the weights, panicked and went up.”
Hamilton also had them do a series of breathing exercises, as well as going from a sauna to a cold pool. A day they’ll never forget.
“That day changed my life forever, honestly,” Winslow said. “I just felt amazing. High on life. Happy. It was one of the best moments of my life.”
It sparked an important change. Winslow had always been in good shape, but from that day, he committed to a higher level of fitness. The high he chased with drinking and clubbing was replaced by chasing what he felt that day at Hamilton’s.
“I found a higher frequency, and I wanted to live in that frequency,” Winslow said. “It was a frequency where the stress was gone, the anxiety was gone. I wanted to maintain that, I wanted to find that happiness, that gratitude, that acceptance and presentness. I wanted to find that every day.”
—-
“I check his boxscores all the time,” Spoelstra said. “Because he is one of the guys I continue to root for. Every player’s journey is different, and it’s never linear.
SPO is the best!
Thank you so much for posting this!
Will always be rooting for Justise!
The Heat are so lucky to have Spo.
Confirmation that bustise was a bad teammate. Wish him the best mental health wise as that is no joke but glad he is no longer anywhere near this team
Crazy that he’s still only 26. Too bad it didn’t work out here but glad he’s doing better now.
Thanks for posting this! Great article
While I’m said Point Justise didn’t pan out, I’ve been where he is and get it. I’m happy he’s found his place and his peace in Portland
But my main takeaway– man, Spo really is a real one. We’re blessed
As someone who deals with anxiety/depression I totally feel for him. That shit takes over your life and turns you into a different person. I wish the best for him in the future!
It must be tough as fuck to go through the emotions of your 20s while having to be a professional, high performing athlete and a multi million dollar investment to an organisation. Obviously it’s a nice paycheck but the human shit like depression doesn’t give a fuck about your bank balance, it treats everyone the same.
I can relate to a lot of the stuff Winslow is talking about, I’m grateful I didn’t have the added pressure of a job with a global audience holding me to incredibly high expectations while I was struggling. Everyone makes mistakes and has to grow and mature. Hopefully Winslow does well. I still think he was insanely overrated by fans and that he isn’t anything special as a player but I wish him the best.
Spo is legit a wonderful human and an exceptional role model for our players and our organization. We are blessed to have him
Point Justise on his day was such a fun player to watch, such a shame he had those mental issues. Wish him all the best
Was a great article. I’m happy Justice is in a good place now. Shines some light as well on why he lashed out so much following the trade. He wasn’t in a good place.
Miami life ate the boy up
No wonder rook2 outplayed rook1
Spo is the Goat
I remember posting about Justise a little bit before he got traded. My boss is close friends with a member of Heat coaching staff (at the time), and he said when Justise was constantly benched about his back pain and spasms was because his agent was working on a deal with another team. He also said Whiteside was the laziest athlete he’s ever coached in decades in the league.
And this is exactly why I always rooted for him despite the majority of the fanbase turning on him .The expectations were wayy to high and was worse when wade left and then being constantly compared to player on another team by heat fans and being called a bust while being in a dark place because of constant injuries is a recipie for disaster.Never kick a man while he’s down .If John wall and Kevin love etc can tell you how injuries put them in a very dark place and they are in the league for a while it had to be worse for a player like that .
Such a great read. Really as if Spo wasn’t already a legend.. Stories like this just cement it. An absolute hero.
I always rooted for Winslow. I know he wasn’t doing well before he was traded, but wow I had no idea how deep his issues got. You really don’t know what someone is thinking or feeling sometimes. Glad he is in a better place.
Spo is just amazing.
Great article thanks.
This makes me feel warm. #Spoknows
#Justisebetter. I hope we bring him back home. He could play next to Bam.